mad dash

zoom zooma zoom! work sped by today. got there early to get two critical projects nailed down prior to leaving AND to burn the last 5 of 7 planned mixes I wanted to do. it was the first and last thing I did all day, and I did generic liner notes, but they're done and ready for playing enroute to South Carolina.

got the two critical projects nailed down--I think. anything happens while I am out, it will have nothing to do with me leaving loose ends behind before heading on vacation.

My wife got my daughter's photo taken today also--what was supposed to be her 1 year photo is her 14 month photo. Such is life. We have enough photos of her to do a time lapse flipbook showing her grow from month 1 to month 14 as it is. The next kid is screwed. Mathematically I just do not see HOW we can take as many pics of #2 (no, she's not pregnant. but we ultimately hope to have another child.). On the way home from that she even stopped off and picked up prints from the last roll of film we had developed. Oh, and did I mention we're taking a video cam, camera, tripod and plenty of film for both with us on vacation?

But I digress. Came home and the night flew. Here I am at nearly midnight and I still have one or two things I need to finish for work. Nagging details really. So I do not mind. I'll be up so late it'll be earrly, but then I'm done for 10 days.

My guest blogger may or may not pop in here, dunno. I am not this person's keeper by any means. But I think you'll like the guest's take on things.

In the meantime I will leave you with one of my poems...apologies in advance:

I leave here
but never you
surrounded in a sea of others
missing you
work the day
needing you
yearning to return
just for you
apart
we are something
together we are
everything

ok, two for the price of one...

your vision dwarfed by sight
what you confine to canvas
gives me liberty
framed within these limitations
your paintings
set me free

Went through the entire journal #3 to find those two poems. I may be my worst critic, but the rest just seem non-blog worthy. And on that note, I'm outta here. See you in July.

looks like rain

too much left to do before vacation. in fact I should either be sleeping or working on work right now...not this. but I cannot help being excited. even after checking the weather and seeing rain in the forecast has not bummed me out. Although a house full of 7 kids could be disaster. We'll see.

Registered my site with several search engines, MIT's blogdex and Eatonweb as well. Did a search on yahoo and instead found the tv show from which I stole the name of this blog AND a really cool site you could easily waste some time surfing.

btw, I named my blog completely spontaneously. the template asked and I answered with the first thing that sounded cool. although the possible connotations behind the name of a nostalgic 70's saturday morning cartoon used for the blog of a recovering alcoholic is pretty rich. but alas, it was impulse. plus, I like alliteration.

errands, and good problems to have

typically after I vent with someone, I throw out the caveat "these are good problems to have." this is done if only to qualify my bitching and moaning within the context of real life. lets be honest, if someone gave you a bar of gold, SOMEONE would bitch that it was too heavy or that silver and platinum are trading at higher levels and are therefore more valuable. so noting I have good problems to have trys to recognize the fact that there are others more deserving of help and concern.

caveats aside, prepping for vacations can really suck. there are seemingly endless lists of things you need to find, buy, prep or pack prior to leaving on your journey. this trip is no different. in addition to packing for ourselves, we're packing for our 14 month old daughter. as a result, you have to pack while considering several possible contingencies: what if she gets sick? plenty of sun protection, plenty of props, toys and books to entertain her during the 2 legs of our journey (each one lasting six hours).

I would love to also have some nyquil at the ready as a last resort ;-) to ensure a peaceful drive. sure its the equivalent of slipping my daughter a roofie, but we all remember piling into the family station wagon and chanting over and over "ARE WE THERE YET?" a 14 month old knows only one way to express her desire to be out of the car and at the final destination" CRYING. but alas, we will not be taking such drastic measures. we have picked up a couple of new toys for her that she will not get until she's in the van. that should at least get us to the highway!

another good problem to have...bathing suit issues. I am a guy and could just as easily wear old cutoff shorts to swim in. but I seem to have like 5 different pairs of swim trunks. this is because I never threw any away. the oldest could be dating back to like early to mid-1990s.

why am I oversharing? well it turns out this is a good thing. last year I bought two new suits and I've lost like 50 pounds since then. so the new suits might not fit. fine, fine mock me "what's a girl to do?" I do not even know why I am posting this other than to note the fact that I lost 50 pounds.

well, it IS a blog. so yea for me. and see the lead into this post before you mock me or send hate mail.

EVERYTHING, all at once

well, I said "bring it" to the week and it has been brought. lots to do with little time to do it before leaving on vacation.

guest blogger coming here: in my absence, I will be having a guest blogger stop by and regale you with tales. he'll have an interesting perspective from my own...but not so far off you won't find what you're looking for here. dunno if he'll spill secrets or tell you who in the hell he is...that's up to him.

making many music mixes: I make mixes like others might make cookies. if that is true, consider it the christmas season as I am making a batch of mixes for the journey south: 7 in total. this represents some pent up ideas, including a mix for my 13 month old daughter-a mix of the latest tunes I am into (fast)-a mix of the latest tunes I am into (slow)-and soft, pop, classic and dance compilations for everyone else. should be worth the effort...if I can get them all done in time.

errands and then some: after work I took my daughter on a walk. well, I walked and she rode in our baby backpack/child carrier...whatever you want to call it. it looks like one of those big-ass, hiking backpacks. it is the bomb for what it does, but I have to believe it makes me look like a total tool. hopefully I get dad points from people that spy me walking around with her and it on my back. I can only hope.

then my wife got back from kickboxing and I cut the grass, did dinner dishes and tidied up in general. walking up stairs to start getting ready for tuesday, I caught a wave of chills. the kind of chills that send your ass cowering beneath the covers. took some tylenol and called it a night. but of course, I woke up at 4am and gave up trying to get back to sleep at 4:45 and here I am. planning and scheming the rest of the crap I want to get done before hitting the road. to boot, I think my daughter gave me the 48-hour virus she had last week. I am achy and feel feverish without actually having one.

I'll deal if those bad ass chills stay away. I laid there thinking, I wonder if DT's are this bad? or if this is what DTs are like? thank GOD I did not have physical withdrawl so strong that DTs set in when I quit drinking.

prolific or just long-winded? started writing when I was in high school. in fact, in high school I filled up eight notebooks with songs, angst and your general bad poetry with an occasional decent poem interspersed. when college started, I slowed down and aimed for quality instead of quantity. as a result, I recently started my fourth hardbound writing journal.

when I hopped on the wagon, I started a journal for that experience as well. add this to my running journal and the journal we started for my daughter (we put in thoughts and notes about her) and you have a shitload of records that could be held against me in a court of law. I tell you all of this as this blog is yet one more piece of evidence added to the list. it is a content hole I must feed. but I have plenty of resources, eh?

I am just getting started here kids. So while I may be away for a little over a week in real world (that's more than a year to you and me here in blog world!), you can bet I'll be back with guns blazing.

The shape of content to come includes thoughts on moving from agency life to corporate world, spam titles (the email kind this time), poetry (good or bad? you decide) and the "catalyst" that got me to admit to myself that I am an alcoholic. some call this when I hit bottom. you might even get some of this content yet this week before I leave.

especially if I keep waking up at 4:45 in the friggin morn.

"was it for this my life I sought?"

this post was going to be about Ohio drivers and my propensity to road rage, but I have to believe you can get that type of thing elsewhere. for one idea there are seemingly several web sites these days, right? in the advertising business, this sentiment is reflected in the phrase: "if it's good, it's been done." although I think sometimes this is abused by people that are covering their butt for "paying homage" to someone else's work in their most recent project--read: plagiarizing.

but I digress.

this weekend, a friend mused in person and on her blog about accepting that her job was merely a means to an end. in this particular case...a means to her financial freedom. I was happy for her, but she seemed to be looking at the bright side of things and was not too happy about this statement. she seemed to want more from her career.

that's fine, but I want to stick up for the realization that your job is a means to an end. the beauty of this is that you realize how much the rest of your life has to offer you. you are not forced to measure yourself merely by your title/paycheck/office size or location.

Now, there is nothing wrong with being career-focused. Pre-dot com days, I was a walking, talking issue of Fast Company As the dot com rage ravaged me, my wife became pregnant. This forced me to realize I was not enjoying the need for speed (speed without strategy anyway), and needed to make a change prior to our child arriving into the world. So I stepped down from a managerial position and am now one of the troops. You can do this without becoming complacent. It takes some conditioning, but you get used to having a life outside of work. Some might say, how can you make this sacrifice? These people have a different focus and do not realize what I have gotten for it in return.

The above commerical for quality of life is not necessarily directed at my friend. She has a full life and probably just wants "bigger, better, faster, MORE!" from all elements of her life--nothing wrong with this desire. There may be people out there that can do it all. But I know of one or two other friends that seem torn right now between various paths.in their life: starting a new career vs. starting a family. And I would hope they make the right decision for THEM and not for one or more of society's norms.

The title of this entry is a line from Phish's "Stash". A great band and tune I think quite appropos for summer. "Was it for this my life I sought? Maybe so and maybe not." Ask yourself the first question...knowing that if THIS IS NOT what you want out of life, you can make a change.

Tag, Yer It!

finally got some two-way communication installed on the site. it's a tag board at the very bottom of the page...until a good friend shows me how to move it up into the left hand column.

many thanks to Jason for giving me the idea. I saw the board on his site, where I also read a great father's day memory he recalled. bottom line of the story is that if you know you did your best, the outcome is ok--good or bad.

a fine piece of wisdom to pass along to your offspring. I had a great day today. ran 3 miles, logged some church time and got some great gifts. from a great columbia jacket that I will use for running in wind, rain and mildly cold temperatures to the movie Clerks on DVD. We also enjoyed yet another awesome sunday dinner (complete with homemade cannoli and espresso).

And to top it off I am off Friday as we head to South Carolina on vacation. 7 kids, including my daughter. eek! but I am looking forward to fun in the sun, with my toes in the sand and some non-alcoholic drinks in my hand.

for once I am eager for Monday. BRING IT!

site meter

finally got off my butt and signed up to sitemeter so I will know if there's any traffic to speak of. also signed up for search engines. so I expect a lot of fellow boozehounds to stop by. I should tell them I am reading the infamous blue book and do not like it. it means very well, but is too outdated for me to get enough out of it.

now I just need the code to allow comments and this thing will be much closer to where I want it. after that it's just a little more hunkering down with html and diving for better or for worse into sgi scripts? I do not even know if I am referring to them correctly.

you can't beat this meat

one little story from CNN and BAM! this blog turns into a portal into the universe of SPAM. not the email ya jerkies, the tasty meat-like treat (or should I say treet?).

turns out, they opened a museum nearly a year ago dedicated to SPAM. It is located in Minnesota, and makes me want to travel North on vacation this year! But alas, it will have to be a road trip for another day. YOU should make plans accordingly however.

And of course, NO SPAM resource would be complete without the following pages...

The Amazing SPAM Homepage

and the best is always saved for last....

SPAM HAIKU!

father or dad?

bumper sticker philosophers state that anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad. but let's be honest, it's all semantics. rock provides a good enough example: Kurt Cobain sang "I wanted a father but instead I had a dad," then he left his daughter behind and killed himself. Jane's Addiction "Had a Dad" also does not reflect fondly upon Perry Farrell's paternal influences.

my most recent, favorite look at fatherhood came to me at the end of the movie "Smoke Signals." The poem entitled How Do We Forgive Our Fathers?

How do we forgive our Fathers?

by Dick Lourie

How do we forgive our Fathers?

Maybe in a dream

Do we forgive our Fathers for leaving us too often or forever

when we were little?

Maybe for scaring us with unexpected rage

or making us nervous

because there never seemed to be any rage there at all.

Do we forgive our Fathers for marrying or not marrying our Mothers?

For divorcing or not divorcing our Mothers?

And shall we forgive them for their excesses of warmth or coldness?

Shall we forgive them for pushing or leaning

for shutting doors

for speaking through walls

or never speaking

or never being silent?

Do we forgive our Fathers in our age or in theirs

or their deaths

saying it to them or not saying it?

If we forgive our Fathers what is left?

Thanks to Half Mad Spinster for hooking me up with the text.

At the end of the day, bumper stickers and rock tunes don't mean a thing. To me, the poem tells me just to be myself and do my best for my daughter and it'll all fall into place. Luckily I have plenty of time before things get weird with my daughter...she's barely a year old.

Happy Father's Day means a lot of different shit to a lot of different people. After my Dad died, it meant nothing to me. My Dad left some baggage behind him that my brothers are still dealing with. Shit bad enough that I do not feel like getting into it...and this blog is even anonymous! I am dealing with it too, but I realized the bad does not negate the good times I had with him. So I let them peacefully coexist. But without him around, I saw no need to be happy or sad on Father's Day.

Now I am a father, dad, whatever and I look forward to the day...if only for the gifts. But I also spend the day missing my Dad.

A good friend lost her Dad recently and she is also learning to let things peacefully coexist. And I think she's pretty much to that point. As I write this I am also reminded of the fact that a couple of my friends are adopted. I can only imagine that the day has a whole other tone for them. I don't know.

Is it me or do we need a whole new set of holidays? If you worked for Hallmark and were in charge of creating a new holiday, what would it be? Yeah, it sounds cheesy, but drop me a line and let me know. Or just call your Dad or Mom or someone and talk to them this weekend.

"insider trading: it's a good thing."

what's this? martha stewart being investigated for insider trading? And down south, someone cuts off her boyfriend's butt? I guess he was a real "pain in the ass?" [rim shot] I'm here all week folks!

Speaking of butts, my ass literally fell asleep during the English Patient. Prior to this I was unware that one's buttocks could fall asleep like that. It made that long ass film all the more memorable.

blog meets world

is anyone else tired of reading about blogging? it's kinda funny to see how people interpret it to the uninitiated. it's even funnier to see articles on it in professional circles.

"blogs: ignore them at your own peril." is the latest one I have seen and it discusses how they're a great Public Relations tool...a great way to reach out to media and customers. Bottom line is it's a new form of communication so everyone and their brother wants to talk about how it impacts XYZ. And why? Cause everyone's giddy as a school girl to have something new in the high tech realm to discuss. Lately all there's been to read about are the latest Internet trade publications that went out of business. With no more dotcoms to buy ads and write about, what else where they to do?

Anyway, as much as I love to see these articles at times, I have to laugh at them as well. "Blogs - short for Web logs...." Bottom line is MOST companies will not dedicate the resources needed to run their own blog. And most PR people are too lazy to really figure out which blogs are related to a) media and b) their clients' target media.

Newsgroups were the same way. When everyone first started learning about the tools the Internet had to offer, it was email, the Web, newsgroups, listservs and one or two others that even I am too lazy to remember. Well, in relation to newsgroups, everyone talked about the now ancient intel chip fuck up that was learned about by a member of the press lurking in a newsgroup. "Ignore Newsgroups at your own Peril" read the headlines then. And now no one knows what the fuck a newsgroup or listserv is.

But I digress. It is Friday and I am happy as a clam in the sand. I always say, no matter what, Friday's rock. Worst case scenario, you have to suck it up for 8 or so hours...then you're free! So turn that frown upside down and try a smile for awhile!

true crime

a police officer used to live next door to one of my brothers and told him the following story. as a result, this is not an urban legend. it's just bizarre.

a man was found dead in his over the rhine apartment. he lived over the bar once known as "The Warehose." anyways, they find him sitting in a barber's chair, dressed up in a leather S&M outift. he had on a gasmask like mask that he could use to control his breathing. presumably this would be for auto asphyxiation? he also had electrodes attached to each testicle that were delivering electric shocks to his gonads.

but wait, that's not all. he also had a belt sander in his lap...more specifically on his crotch. he was wearing leather pants and one would assume the vibration provided him with stimulation. however, since he died like that, the belt sander had worn through the leather pants and his skin.

ouch.

how did he die? the mask malfunctioned if I recall and he suffocated. what a way to go.

e-Check

ventured out during early work hours to get my e-Check done. considering I was on the clock, it went down real fast. a painless extraction of $20.00 from a system FULL of flaws. the only minor pain in my ass was the fact that the guy testing my car moved my seat. what is it about seat positions that make them seem unatainable once they've been moved? I used to think the luxury cars that remembered seat positions was over the top and unnecessary. NO MORE!

so if THIS is all I can bitch about...life must be pretty good, huh?

fine. all is well. but there was a time where the car I drove did not pass e-Check. it was my red chevy cavalier. the car made infamous by the movie Swingers. If you recall, Mikey (Jon Favreau) starts a conversation with a girl at a party. She immediately asks what kind of car he drives. He tells her: red chevy cavalier. she immediately begins to ignore him. the car was an instant deal breaker.

I drove that car across country...it served me very well. Until what might have been its last e-Check. It did not pass at first. Luckily the tester told me what to do to get it to pass. "Whatcha gotta do is take it out on the highway before you bring it here and really punch it. Blast all those impurities outta your engine." Yeah, like I said...a system full of holes. But it worked.

quitting was the easy part

the easiest part about admitting I was an alcoholic was actually stopping my consumption of alcohol. this was a welcome surprise as the concept of NEVER DRINKING AGAIN kept me from admitting it for a very long time.

looking at my writing back then, I knew. but I always told myself that I did not have to stop drinking until I hit bottom. that is the rule, right? well, I did hit bottom. man, did I ever. but I am not going there in this post. let's just say I was lucky that my bottom was not worse--no one died and I was not physically injured or arrested in the process.

anyway kids, now that I've stopped, my big fear is falling off the wagon. I've actually tried to accept that it WILL happen...so I do not beat myself up if it actually DOES happen. but I would much rather stay bone dry.

I've been lucky that it has been easier to not drink than I expected. however I will argue it is also the cruel twist of my situation. most everyone does not think I have a drinking problem--even though drinking was always my answer.

The above factor, combined with the relative ease at which I quit, gets to you after awhile. You want to listen to them. You start thinking, "Maybe they're right and I do not have a problem. I mean, wouldn't it be tougher to stay off the sauce if I had a problem?"

This is dangerous thinking. I do have a problem. I am an alcoholic. Trust me. More proof to come. And theories too as I explore the wonderful world of sobriety.

eeek!

I simply must learn real html so I can link to some of my better stuff on here. Scrolling down past what's showing here, I am underwhelmed. So I encourage you to dig in the archives. An unintuitive process, especially since the main page sucketh muchly. But I promise it'll be well worth it.

In my recent guest blog, I threw up some links. Here are some I forgot...
WHEN IN THE HELL DID I EAT CORN? When people think I am whack, I point them to this site. Someone sent me the link, I did not find it myself and have NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. Scatlovers are some fucked up bunch of puppies.

And before dot coms made the Net a bad thing, there was the early Web. I love jodi.org cause I do not understand it in the least. Nor do I want to.

The Wayback Machine can take you back to the early Web-waaay back. This archive keeps old versions of Web sites. For example, my employer's Web site has version of it going back to 1996! Got to see all the clunky versions of it with all the old data behind it too. I have to believe that can be put to use in a negative fashion.

guest blog

Half Mad Spinster asked me to guest blog. Due to some stupid code issues, things got screwed up. I was going to spiff my site and promote it, but the code would have identified me as my true meatspace identity. So HMS wound up posting it with no promotional info in it. But YOU know the truth. I wrote it!

Noticed this blog has taken away from the time I use to write in my booze clues journal. The receptacle where I place any and all emotions. So hats off to blogger for serving a useful purpose in my life. I like the fact that this gets me writing more than ever. That's the funny thing about writing...even when you do it for a living...it's tough. Authors force themselves to write everyday for a certain amount of time. Even if it does not relate to their current project.

The light at the end of the tunnel here is that while it might not get easier to do, your writing sure as hell improves. Lately I have been in an editing position. And, while it's an art, I enjoy doing it. Mostly I work on easy stuff...proofing it and tightening it up. Sometimes I will really put something on the blocks and reorganize it.

anyways...my weekend went well. got a lot done and enjoyed myself. also had some quality time with my daughter which is better than sliced bread any day of the week. she is a blast to play with and to spend time with her in any way relaxes me.

busy bee

today and this weekend hold tons of activity. work will entail moving ahead on several projects for a client...between that and the usual Friday factor...the day will scoot by.

the steady rain this week means saturday afternoon will be spent cutting the grass, trimming bushes (hmm, that sounds connotative) and edging. blow me. it's a safe and easy way for me to feel like I am tending to our homestead. I enjoy it.

I also enjoy running and will be hitting an 8 mile run with a good friend of mine Saturday morning. That run will put me within 2 or 3 miles of 1,000 career miles run since I started the sadistic activity in 1994. sweet.

Saturday night will entail a painful couples baby shower. the whole COUPLES shower concept blows ass. wedding, baby and if there are other chick shower parties we'll probably start getting pulled into those as well. thankfully I like the people being "showered" with gifts.

and it will all be done clean and sober? sure. what the heck. why not. sooner or later I will have 8 months of sobriety under my belt and then I'll aim for 9 to match the length of time an expectant mom stays on the wagon. then I'll wanna hit 10 months for the double-digit effect. and then I'll wanna be able to say I held off a whole year. after that?

blackouts!

hehehe.

get back to work dammit. you're 8 hours away from freedom. sweet, heavenly freedom from the man.

FLY, BE FREE!

the good with the bad

I am pleased to announce I had a great day at work today, got a lot done and enjoyed doing it. And tonight I am stress free. Ahhhh this is the life I have not known since April. The last month was one dark ride. Here's to June!

"I AM AN ALCOHOLIC!"

arrgh! it is so frustrating sometimes not being able to just tell someone you are an alcoholic. hard to believe? think about it. you change your lifestyle **completely**. but, due to the social stigmas and stereotypes associated with alcoholism, you cannot tell everyone WHY.

such was the case last night at the Reds game. I used to go to baseball games a lot more when I drank. now sober, I admitted to myself I don't like baseball all that much. drinking gave me something to do at the game! funny, but true.

but I still like going to the stadium. so I was glad that a client was inviting us to a game. we were in the old press box. so we had a great view and plenty of food and drinks. well, we had beer and soda. I am not bitching per se. but I just wish I liked soda as much as I like water. it was hot as hell, and I need no excuse to sweat. so all I had to replenish my fluids was pepsi.

anyway, I am getting to the real issue here folks...honest. I was well known at work for being the beer guy. go figure since I drank all the time, right? well, professional circles are the one place I hold back the fact that I am an alcoholic. marketing is a shallow industry. and I really think that it could affect my career. sad but true. best case, I think people would somehow patronize me. which would almost be worse than being discriminated against.

so luckily I just lost 45 pounds. I tell everyone I gave it up to lose weight and lower my cholesterol and I just have not wanted to start back up. and I feel like a fucking sell out, hypocrite doing that. I am proud of what I have done with my life. I have accepted my problem and enjoy my life more having admitted it to myself. lying about it really pisses me off.

who am I kidding though? it's probably the only reason my name is not on this blog too. I know a friend with a blog that beats the living shit out of this one. she grapples with the same issue, but is on the other side of the fence. she is brutally honest and there are people that KNOW about her blog. she runs into problems as a result. but I really admire her for not being the anonymous stooge that I am. sigh.

anticlimatic

Each year since I've been here...my annual performance review has been anticlimatic. This year was no different. It went fine and all, but there's nothing constructive that comes out of it. In fact, they've already budgeted your raise before you go in. They might as well just email you.

"Dear [NAME]: Congratulations on another year at [COMPANY]. Your hard work and dedication has not gone unnoticed. We're giving you a [PERCENT] raise. We look forward to another year of great work from you. Thanks again!"

Well it could be worse. I could be out of a job, or get no raise at all. And for that, I am thankful.

The Curse of the Microwave

I've been a good boy lately...eating a packed lunch vs. heading out to eat somewhere with coworkers.

That said, I'd rather get the opportunity to hang out with co-workers. I am saving money and eating more healthy as a result, but somedays I just need to get out of the office. When I pack my lunch, I eat at my desk. The end result can be devastating if you do not clean up after yourself. Luckily I do.

Anyway, I'm zapping a frozen lunch in the microwave and catch myself bitching about how long they take to heat up. And it only takes 7 minutes at the most, typically.

I would argue most fast food drive throughs won't get you in and out in under 7 minutes during the lunch hour. But good old technology spoils us. So we sit in front of the microwave tapping our watch, we speed through our voicemail prompts with savant-like reflexes and we look down on a Web page if it does not load instantly.

One of our bosses noted how a creative team conducted a photo shoot for an ad in 45 minutes...when photo shoots typically take anywhere from 4 hours to 4 days-depending on the situation. That said, he forgot to note how many hours in Photoshop it took to retouch the photo before it could be used in the ad.

What am I getting at? The need for speed is ridiculous. Speed Kills.

"Speed without Strategy is Futile," says Alvin Toffler

And I blame ALL of it on the microwave. If only to oversimplify the matter.

He Jumps Through Flaming Hoops

I'm at work. Spent. Done. Cashed out. It's Monday at 3pm.

Monday's can go either way as far as putting me through the wringer. It's a day full of status, team and staff meetings. This can make it go fast, or tire you out. Today it tired me out. I was super focused on presenting a lot of information today on several projects. As a result, everything went swimmingly.

The price is I have nothing left. I'm friggin blogging so it looks like I am typing away on a message planner or another email media pitch. But you know the real truth. My act in the big top is over. I jumped through flaming hoops all morn and, as a result...I'm dog tired.

The anxieties I had been allowing in my life have for the time being subsided. And for that, I am one happy man. Tomorrow, at 2pm is my annual review. I've been here 6 years. Dunno what to expect, but my fingers are crossed. Maybe I should spend the last hours of today reviewing the past year, encapsulating my strenghts and my weak, er I mean, growth opportunities, and come up with something about what I want to do in the coming year. Alas, it's all a means to an end lately and all my goals are currently focused on life...not work. Is that bad?

Lightweight

Was gonna run 3 miles today, assuming it would be hot and muggy. Wound up running 2 instead and walking the last one as I sweat my ass off. Bottom line is I ran too fast and I gave into my head telling me to take it easy and walk the last mile.

My brain is my worst enemy when I run. It can work with me or against me.

I also chalk up the poorer than usual performance on my blood donation yesterday. Yeah, it's a rationalization on my part, but I felt off pretty much the rest of the day. Wondering if this could have had an impact on my run made me question if I was a "lightweight" or not. I mean, what's the big deal over a pint of blood? The pecan sandies and apple juice I scarfed down afterwards should have been plenty to bring me back to 100 percent.

Well, I wound up weighing myself when I got back from my run and I was just under 200 pounds. This is my lowest weight since I started dieting and running full time back in September 2001. So I think stress on top of diet and excercise has a little bit to do with me being lighter weight than usual.

The good news is I get my blood tested on Tuesday to get locked into a lower life insurance rate. So my weight being down should play to my advantage if I lay off the dairy and red meat till then. If my cholesterol rating comes in lower than 209, I think I will celebrate with some proscuitto and mozarella and wash it down with a funnel cake.

Segueway. Remember how I noted I once wanted to buried in a robe made of proscuitto? Well, this was my way of saying, I LUV the thinly sliced smoked ham product from Italy. Prior to that scenario, I once said I wanted to be embalmed in a funnel cake. Those bidding me farewell could sprinkle powdered sugar on me. And prior to that scenario, when I was in college, I said I wanted my head turned into a bong. A small hole in the back of my head would hold the plastic tube, my mouth would serve as the bowl and my nose would be the carb.

Yeah, college days. Hehehe. Anyway, all these ideas aside, it will be an Irish wake. So if you're there, plan on having a few drinks. Some of the best parties I have been to have been Irish wakes. Plenty of booze and food.

But I am, once again, getting ahead of myself. I have a whole other thing on wakes that I do not want to get into yet. One reason I will have less to write about here and mainly I do not want you thinking I am obsessed with death. If I was, I would not give a shit about my cholesterol, I can tell you that.

Festival Season

Our cities annual Taste of Cincinnati event kicks off the festival season over the Memorial Day weekend. A sure sign that I'm getting older is the fact that I do not go due to the crowd. Well, that and I vowed to never take a stroller to that event. And I made this vow as a single person and plan to stick with it. As a parent I would not do it for the sake of the kid. As a single I vowed not to do it as it was such a pain in the ass to get around a stroller in a steady flow of people.

That curmudgeon confession aside, I do not swear off all festivals. Panegryi is an annual Greek festival that proves to be quite the feast. Sure there are gyros aplenty, but great salads, spanekopita and baklava...mmm mmm. It's all good.

And this year I have seen signs for another feastival: GOETTAFEST 2002. Goetta is made of pork, spices and oats that are formed into a loaf and then cooked in a skillett and typically served for breakfast. Once again...mmm mmm. Those german sausage makers that created this tasty breakfast treat new what they were doing. It's a standard part of my meal when we visit Price Hill Chili for breakfast. And I should note that Sebastian's is right up the street from Price Hill Chili and they serve the cities BEST gyros.

Enough homage to fatty foods. This year I will note I am going to miss BOTH festivals as I will be on vacation. Rats. But that should not stop you from going my fine friends. And if you're really up for some abuse, check out any one of the gajillion parish festivals that occur over on the West side. All you need is a little beer and a whack sense of humor and you'll enjoy yourself for all the wrong reasons.