My father, myself

So here I am, an alcoholic. Taking a flight of pills (if you count the vitamin and advils) and it hits me that I've seemingly become my father. Well, let me back up...Sunday morning was spent cutting the grass, or attempting to do so. I ran over a beehive of sorts in the ground and got stung like seven times. Funny to watch, a pain in the ass to endure. Mostly because of the swelling in my legs.

So I come home from work Monday and my legs feel like fucking sausages. They don't look much better. My old man always had trouble with his legs. That's when it hit me. I am my Dad. This was perfect timing for such a painful revelation since I am also trying a new med and am on a diet. Great mix. Well, I went way off the diet last night just to maintain the rest of my faculties and not lose it.

The new med may be helping me focus, but the side effects simply are not worth the benefits that straterra might bring me. I've resigned myself to make do with welbutrin. My focus comes and goes with this stuff and it always keeps away the anxious andies.

Like you give a shit. But I have to put this somewhere.

Man Cans

Started doing weight watchers at work. I figure/hope that spending money to lose weight and the scorn/encouragement of my fellow coworkers will help motivate me. So far that is the case...I've lost nearly 15 pounds. I hit 230 pounds...my all time high was 251. But I was starting to get man cans. Weight watchers tells me my goal is to get down to just above 200 pounds. I've done this before and I look sick thin. I'll be happy to get between 210 and 215. If I have a window I will be much happier vs. one number.

Wife has been doing weight watchers again and has already lost more than 10 pounds. Bottom line is that weight watchers gets the diet in check and if you excercise you will really see results. So we're trying to help each other excercise at least three times a week.

My psychiatrist wondered if Straterra might help me focus more at work. He also noted I would be taking it with my Wellbutrin to keep my anxiety in check. So far, Straterra may be helping me focus more at work. But the side effects suck butt. Dry mouth, more emotional, no appetite and possibly constipation. So it is a good diet helper, but I suspect I will not continue taking it after my month trial ends. I do not enjoy taking it quite frankly so even if it does help me focus, it is not worth it.

Work is going well. I enjoy it, it is hard and I am successful. This is a good combination.

Daughter and son are doing well. Daughter starts school soon which is odd and sad somehow.

More to come hopefully as I dust off this old blog o mine. Hopefully more of the good content I have in earlier posts and none of this diary of useless detail.

Post Secret

Found this site which is really cool. If I submitted a postcard, here's what it would say:

"People wonder if I think about the accident. I don't. I do think about my three co-workers who were killed in the accident each and every day."

Of course, this post is kind of a post secret since no one really came here even when it was an active blog.

I miss this blog. Need to spend some time here...exploring.