home stretch

tough to focus this week at work. bad time to be moving...as if there were ever a good time. i'm busy and i get a new boss on monday. i'll also be out on vacation monday to finish moving and celebrate my year of sobriety (knock wood. we're not there yet. one day at a time.).

complicating things further for me is we do not get cable access till monday. this means no web surfing from friday after work till who knows when on monday. fine. i need to get a life. but i like having access at any given time. there will be plenty to do around the house to the point i probably will not miss it.

back to work today...got into a shitty mood at lunch when a coworker i report to laid out her plans for work. those plans probably will entail her leaving. it seems like everyone always wants to leave and move on. not everyone does anything about it. i used to bitch about it. now i wonder if i'm stupid for being happy just staying put. her plans screwed with me to the point that i started freaking that when i'm in my 50s I'll be overpriced and marginalized by someone half my age who will do better work than me for less. yeah, i took a bit of a leap. i have an active imagination.

sometimes i wish i did not give a shit. i wish in general i could tune it all out, go back to being island boy. could i shut everyone out sober? sadly, the booze merely covered up the fact that I cannot be island boy. ain't gonna work. i am people...people who need people...doph! sorry. trying to pull out of shitty mood that found me again at home. i temporarily shook the lunch bad mood thanks to another coworker who snapped me out of it. but alas, it has settled in again as i realize i would rather write blog entries all day as opposed to writing on behalf of my clients.