addiction's chaos theory

what is it about addicts and chaos? perhaps it's a thread woven into our DNA.

Theophany has noted that you just assume doing all the right things will eliminate chaos from your life...not drinking, following ALL the rules, being a good person. WRONG! Chaos still kicks your can. Maybe it is a bizzare gravitational force like the tides reacting to the pull of the moon? Whatever it is, it sucks.

Returned home from week 2 road trip. All went swimmingly on the road. And during this time of me working hard, my wife was working harder. In addition to raising our daughter, she's been managing the move. ALL the little details...too many to bore you with. Except for this one.

Due to our homebuyers chosen method of funding, we had to make some minor repairs to comply with safety regulations. No biggie if it sells the house. But, due to poor timing, I returned home late Wednesday and had to replace two window panes in our basement that evening. Removing glazing compound from windows in an 80 year old home is like chipping off small shards of concrete—and loads of fun. Most amazing was, as darkness set in and I hammered away at the window frames, NONE of my neighbors came outside when they heard breaking glass.

Anyway, it is impossible for daughter to sleep through this. We postponed her bedtime. My wife then reveals to me how she feels about managing all of my life outside of work right now. Needless to say she is not happy. Unfortunately, being a typical male, I tried to point out that work is a means to an end for life. ergo: money makes our world go round. Smart idea. It came off as shitty as you might think. I might as well have said, "I bring home the bacon. You cook it, bitch."

Now this WAS NOT how I felt about the situation. We actually communicate about things now thankfully. So we have worked through that particular issue.

Fast forward to Friday.I took a vacation day to close on our current home and our new home. A chaos lover's special to do two in one day. Our buyers, also being rooted in chaos, waited until the last minute to clear up a credit card debt. This debt needed to be settled so they could get their mortgage. Funds were wired to complete this major act of commerce, but not in time to actually close our house. Of course, not being independently wealthy, we needed to close to get funds for buying our new house.

Envision a stack of dominoes tumbling at the realization of this fact. Vacation day—wasted. Closing on our new house—postponed. Weekend of moving and painting—cancelled. Carpet cleaning for next week—impossible. Rescheduling for both closings—gonna suck.

I shared how this made me feel with the buyers realtor. He silently allowed me equal time as I told him how challenged I was by this news.

Luckily there is something known as a "dry closing." Yeah, my wife and I heard "dry humping" each time the phrase was used. Dry closing actually has the opposite affect though. We closed on our new house and got the keys. Funds will be exchanged once we close on our current home. So we are only out one major inconvenience instead of a long line of them.

Chaos seemingly averted. However now we have a weekend of painting and moving small things prior to the big and final move next weekend.

I am chaos. Hear me roar!