road trip

tomorrow I'm leaving town for an overnight business trip. this one is easy compared to my last trip. it's shorter and all i have to do is learn on behalf of my client. it's a fact-finding mission of sorts.

sure, there will be the usual game faces needed, but it should go well.

so why am i fucking anxious? a year into this gig and I see things more clearly. but part of me wants to eliminate irrational emotion. since i cannot drink through it, my head tells me i should be able to eliminate it.

my shrink and i have discussed this. it's silly. a certain level of nerves means i have a pulse and i am normal. if i did not feel nervous i might not do a good job.

it's simple shit like this that i am relearning. i did not grow in many ways once i started drinking. i hit pause on my emotional growth. so now i am 32 years old and taking baby steps. beats suspended animation any day.