smelling the roses vs. complacency

this cinches it. I am literally going to search out and see a psychologist. bottom line is too much anxiety in my life. since I stopped drinking I thought I was doing a pretty good job adjusting to facing my emotions. I've been doing a damn good job of staying sober at least.

but lately I have been feeling as if I've painted myself into a corner and have no relief. I'm watching what I eat, what I drink, excercising, saving money to go on vacation/buy house/have baby...insert american dream here. and I dunno what this release would be, but I need something.

I need a shrink to see if I need meds, if it's something obvious I cannot see, if it's my folks or if it's just ME. bottom line is I want to talk to someone professional about it all...a third party that is trained to put things into perspective for me.

my wife has been great and wants to help, but does not necessarily know how. reading the post below, I almost laugh. looks like I was in denial as predicted. what exacerbated the situation was the perfect house. we put a bid in on it and did not get it. but I was relieved we did not get it as I was not as ready as I thought I was to move ahead and get house #2. right now we're in a good financial spot. and I want to stay that way. so we're waiting three months or so before looking again. hopefully three months will allow me to chill out and not get all knotted up over the next house situation. the three months also give us time to fix up the house in addition to save more money.

anyways, I should probably tie everything into my headline. now I sit here wondering why we are moving? we're being proactive. long term I will hate it here. it's an ok area for kids, but it could be better. sigh. the burbs are calling me. but I am also settled here and do not necessarily want to uproot and start all over again. so am I being complacent...sitting in my comfort zone? or do I merely want more time to stop and smell the roses.

is there a difference?