rage, falling water, train

today we made progress on fixing up our house to put on the market. our goal was to paint the guest bedroom/computer room ceiling and for me to fix and paint the wall in my daughter's closet. as of this writing, all I have to do is finish painting her closet wall and we're all done.

as my wife was dropping off our daughter with my wife's parents, my Mom called. she wants us to pick her up when she return's from her next trip (she's taking a cruise to Alaska. this has been planned awhile and was initially postponed. so it just seems like she's a globetrotter). I told her I would pick her up. then, as if to lessen the inconvenience of picking her up at the airport on a Monday at 4:15, she tells me she asked my sister in law to do it, but she can only take her to the airport for her departure the saturday before. my sister in law MIGHT be busy that monday.

after I got off the phone with her I got really pissed off. pissed my sister in law is selfish when she knows my wife cannot easily pick up my mom with our 15 month old, pissed I'll probably wind up taking vacation time to do it, pissed my wife would be pissed at the whole scenario, pissed my Mom did not just call us first, pissed my Mom doesn't just pay for long term parking, pissed I was back in the same bad cycle with my side of the family. ARGH!

so, upon my wife's return, I vented. it did not go too well. luckily I had to take a quick walk around the block to get some paint supplies. then it hit me. as pissed off as I was about the whole situation, as full of rage as I was, part of me was enjoying it. I guess now that I no longer get drunk, the emotional buzz from pure rage was as close as I'd gotten to being drunk in awhile. upon this realization, I disconnected from it.

the paint store sales clerk had on a Falling Water t-shirt. I asked him if he'd visited the Famous Frank Lloyd Wright home. He said he had and was planning his next trip. "How long of a drive is it?" I asked out of curiousity. "Six hours, in Pennsylvania." I knew it was in PA, and was glad to hear it was only a 6 hour drive. As I was walking back home, I realized I would probably subject my daughter and wife to a long weekend where we visited Falling Water and maybe even hit Pittsburgh to check out the The Warhol Museum. My Dad subjected us to similarly historic, short trips...but not quite as cool as this one.

As my mood was quickly turning, I also stopped into the Hobby and Lawn Equipment shop at the top of my street. Yeah, you can buy a $700 Snapper Lawn Mower and a model airplane kit there...odd. Anyway, I've been wanting to buy a train to put around our Christmas tree for our daughter to enjoy (and probably play with). I had a train set as a kid and think it would be cool to do. So I stopped in and picked up a catalog. I knew from pricing them last year they're not cheap-$150.00 for a ground floor model from Lionel. But this is the year for it. The nostalgic overload calmed me down and I even apologized for freaking out upon my return to the house.

It's time for me to tell my Mom how I feel. As much as I might hate conflict, if I do not get it off my chest, it's only guaranteed to get worse. Worst case, I guess I might not see my side of the family as much. But that is already the case.