starting to miss it

typically when I get pangs of longing for beer, or some other alcoholic beverage, I quickly realize it is a reaction to an emotional situation. now I simply have to ride it out and deal with the emotions.

today, I realized a new pang: amplifying positive emotions.

I am a firm believer that in the business world, logic wins over emotion every single time. that said, I am a person ruled by emotions. this is an achillies heel I constantly work on from 9 to 5.

but when I was drinking, I did not have to worry about holding back my emotions--especially the good ones! happy was ecstatic. funny was hilarious. love was crazy love. bottom line is I miss that. sure, I was using alcohol to not feel bad, to numb me and to avoid negative situations. but it is not like my life is one big blue period either.

there are babies to welcome into the world, birthdays, weddings and more where one common thing to do is to celebrate with a toast. it has taken me awhile to find something of value that I lost due to my decision to stop drinking alcohol. and while I should look at the upshot and realize that not drinking is the best thing that has ever happened to me...it just really pisses me off right now.

here's to 8+ months of sobriety. cheers.