on nearing nine months

this goes against living one day at a time, but I cannot help but note that in ten days it will have been nine months since I last took a drink of alcohol. for the past nine months I have been a recovering alcoholic. still a totally helpless slave to alcohol...it's just now my whole focus is on NOT drinking rather than being completely focused ON drinking.

well, every drunk is different. so I should not be speaking as if I speak on behalf of all alcoholics. an addict (not alcohol) found me oddly enough on a search engine and gave me some of her thoughts about the situation:

Addiction is avoidance.  Altering reality , tweaking it , if you will, like a musician at a sound board, until we can come up with a mix that will allow a modicum of sanity.

to that I will add that is usually your goal...but things just get really fucked up enroute. one day you finally realize that avoiding reality is killing you. Alcoholics Anonymous calls this a moment of clarity. For me, admitting to myself that I had a problem with alcohol was a relief. In reality I knew all along and was just in denial.

Nearly nine months into this I still do not know how it'll all turn out. But I am glad I quit and I am glad it is not always the hardest thing I have done each day.