doctor's office

What is it about going to the doctor? Particularly if it is a specialist, people's if/then statements kick into overdrive and hushed tones using subtle code are used--"he is going to a psychologist to work through things."

It actually humors me more than anything else. But it is not limited to folks "on the outside." Even in the lobbies of my then psychologist, my now psychiatrist and our now fertility doctor, people shoot fertive glances and are afraid to make eye contact. It's not like we're buying porn, or going to confession, we're getting help!

These stereotypes impact the patients. I am not crazy nor are we barren, but in both cases, a push in the right direction was needed. In the case of "project make another baby," we will be using the good old turkey baster method next time around. Health insurance does not cover this and, once again, my assumption is we would be talking about a bill in the thousands, or high hundreds at best.

We're not. phew.

But I will say that when the doctor pulled out the visual aid to show us what was going on, I felt like I was in the scene in Raising Arizona when Holly Hunter is crying her eyes out, the doctor is showing them her anatomy and Nick Cage's voiceover is saying "her womb was a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase."

It's not.

So if you have a pain, go to the doctor and if you need a specialist, be glad. You are getting the best possible care for whatever it is that ails you. And it does not mean you will be the subject of a medical research project and a story on the evening news. But for kicks, point at people in the waiting room. It will really fuck with them.