tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35018752012-01-23T22:41:07.628-05:00From the land of the lost...there is life.Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.comBlogger2241100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1154071273508700182006-07-28T03:16:00.000-04:002006-07-28T03:21:13.553-04:00

Yep, Vita is a dead blog and its name is life in Italian. Almost funny, but it's true.This blog has suffered endlessly since I switched jobs, focused more on my work blog and life evolves pretty well. At the end of the day, I feel like this blog could give me more personal satisfaction. A good life does not make for good blog content. In review of my posts, the best content comes from my worst

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1124246691023691402005-08-16T22:33:00.000-04:002005-08-16T22:45:24.043-04:00

So here I am, an alcoholic. Taking a flight of pills (if you count the vitamin and advils) and it hits me that I've seemingly become my father. Well, let me back up...Sunday morning was spent cutting the grass, or attempting to do so. I ran over a beehive of sorts in the ground and got stung like seven times. Funny to watch, a pain in the ass to endure. Mostly because of the swelling in my

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1123940669843865532005-08-13T09:37:00.000-04:002005-08-13T09:44:29.846-04:00

Started doing weight watchers at work. I figure/hope that spending money to lose weight and the scorn/encouragement of my fellow coworkers will help motivate me. So far that is the case...I've lost nearly 15 pounds. I hit 230 pounds...my all time high was 251. But I was starting to get man cans. Weight watchers tells me my goal is to get down to just above 200 pounds. I've done this before and I

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1123940167232821572005-08-13T09:31:00.000-04:002005-08-13T09:36:08.146-04:00

Found this site which is really cool. If I submitted a postcard, here's what it would say:"People wonder if I think about the accident. I don't. I do think about my three co-workers who were killed in the accident each and every day."Of course, this post is kind of a post secret since no one really came here even when it was an active blog.I miss this blog. Need to spend some time here...

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1101613860743941752004-11-27T22:46:00.000-05:002004-11-27T22:51:00.743-05:00

ritz crackers has a commercial out right now using modern english's "melt with you" as the music. it bugged me for 2 of the 30 seconds the commercial was on tv. but then it hit me, what the hell else would the band do for a buck these days? everyone is cashing and re-cashing in on anything in their lives deemed valuable. recycling is zeitgeist when you start seeing "behind the scenes" shows on

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1101359901175673262004-11-25T01:11:00.000-05:002004-11-25T00:18:21.176-05:00

remember when you were a kid? everything kicked ass. the sketchier memories seem like the more important ones because you only have pieces of them -- playing with a grandparent that passed on before you were older, staying up late during a sleepover with friends or swimming in the hotel pool on vacation. it occurs to me that this is also the best time for the parents. the kids aren't old enough

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1100822489095420382004-11-18T18:59:00.000-05:002004-11-18T19:01:29.096-05:00

As I am shaving this morning, it hits me: I have gray hair AND acne?! Are you kidding me?! Should that even be allowed?! What cruel natural law permits this for fuck's sake. Yeah, you'd think this would have come to my attention earlier. I've know about both for quite some time. But I have what I consider to be a delayed light bulb effect. I'm just happy I get a light bulb over my head at all.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1100319683102459142004-11-12T23:03:00.000-05:002004-11-12T23:21:23.103-05:00

Ahhh, Friday. Hard to fuck up a Friday, IMHO. Everyone at work is gearing up for tomorrow night's anniversary party. I'm told it is our big party of the year. Should be fun. I am going solo as wife is on some overnight scrapbook extravaganza.This gives me and daughter some great quality time. She actually said "I miss Mommy" before wife even made it out of the driveway, but we had a blast. We

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1099750580596726862004-11-06T09:04:00.001-05:002004-11-06T09:16:20.596-05:00

This is to mark the passing of my 3rd anniversary of being sober. Luckily in this time, I realized WHY I was drinking. Which brings me to my most favorite line from the realm of recovery: "Emotions are not facts we have to act upon." Now, I have somehow done this without AA. As my Dad was in AA for many moons, it makes me wonder if I am missing something. More importantly it makes me wonder if

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1097029378577153212004-10-05T22:03:00.000-04:002004-10-05T22:22:58.576-04:00

Sweet Lord, where do I begin? Well, if you are here, you most likely know me. So I can skip the catch up. New job, blah, blah, blah. I love working downtown. My old work gave me a sendoff and parting gifts. One of these gifts is a Starbucks gift card. I'm about two blocks away from the green meanie. In lieu of having any social connections at my new job, stepping out for coffee...free coffee...

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1093800086626125282004-08-29T13:11:00.000-04:002004-08-29T13:21:26.626-04:00

We did church today and I decided we need to wean ourselves from the cry room. We usually sit in there, but daughter is 3 years old now and we need to get back into the general population. At her age, it starts to feel more like daycare in there. She brings in toys, snacks and even socializes a bit. The cry room is an odd place. Tucked in the back of most churches, it is a small room with a big

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1092114596557380532004-08-10T01:01:00.000-04:002004-08-10T01:09:56.556-04:00

have you heard of this new group? you will someday if i have anything to do with it. what a great fucking name for an all girl's band. tougher to blow them shit if they're all woman. oh the fun they could have with this. first album could be called "helen keller" and the album cover could be equally offensive--a close up of a woman's rack. she would be wearing a t-shirt and you'd see braille in

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1092113823865729322004-08-10T00:42:00.000-04:002004-08-10T00:57:03.866-04:00

oldest brother calls me tonight and informs me he is on adderall. He went to his gp due to anxiety, happened to note he was distracted—wouldn't you be if you were anxious?—and viva la bam he is walking out with an adderall scrip.he was on zoloft for awhile, awhile back. Tried to tell him my psych does not think I have add, but rather an anxiety disorder. And it occurs to me, who the fuck knows

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1092112972233737222004-08-10T00:11:00.000-04:002004-08-10T00:42:52.233-04:00

shitty attitude to have about the j.o.b, huh?but what good is a blog without angst? it's all the usual monday blues drama. hard to shake off a good weekend and shift my focus back to it.not to mention the good news, bad news of my job right now. boss is on maternity leave and i'm in charge. move to the head of the class. only problem is, i still have the old job too. two jobs for the price of one

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1091294610308107542004-07-31T13:14:00.000-04:002004-07-31T13:23:30.310-04:00

wife has a nine month head start on her relationship with daughter. she also stays home with her. so, needless to say, daughter favors wife over me. i always joke i'll never catch up, but she is affectionate with her dad now and again. today is one of those days. she asked me to read stories to her in her room. this made my day in many ways. not only was she wanting to play with me, she wanted

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1090806207049341602004-07-25T21:19:00.000-04:002004-07-25T21:43:27.050-04:00

our back porch is about 14 feet wide and goes out 18 feet from the house. it is covered, but not enclosed. we have a set of patio furniture taking up about half of this space with a grill and wood bench on the other half. i love sitting on this porch at night and relaxing with a cigar and a near beer. tonight it was raining. but since it was not windy, i liked this. i'm one of those freaks

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1090467906724159672004-07-21T23:18:00.000-04:002004-07-22T00:16:20.646-04:00

just got back to work after having a great vacation. we didn't go anywhere, oddly enough. just hanging out with the family and relaxing did the trick. still trying to get back into the swing. so instead of focusing on work, here i am. but it's simply been too long. you jackskulled fuck socket. the turd: daughter loves to swim. as much as you would expect a three-year old to enjoy it.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1089601868669137002004-07-11T22:44:00.000-04:002004-07-11T23:11:08.670-04:00

wife and i realized on saturday afternoon that sunday is our 6th anniversary. both of us forgot. this is not a bad thing in either of our books as we've been having a good summer and our life is full. being preggers also probably helps things. we did an early ultrasound and the kid looks like a pea, but the pea is where it needs to be and checked out fine. so by the time you read this, we're

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1088274894506324422004-06-26T14:31:00.000-04:002004-06-26T14:34:54.506-04:00

hard to believe only a month has gone by since writing the last post. in blog years, you probably thought i'd passed on. it's been busy, but good the last four weeks. won a couple of awards: one for my work blog and one for my work itself. had a good annual review and my clients are seemingly happy. last night, we realized the turkey baster approach worked. we're pregnant. dunno how long i am

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1085552814159791162004-05-26T02:15:00.000-04:002004-05-26T02:26:54.160-04:00

news sites like CNN rock. one cool item is the "view most emailed option" if you email a story to someone.so while i am emailing the most emailed story of the day, i learn that Phish is breaking up. the breakup is the second most emailed story. loved phish, but when i listened to them and saw them in concert, they were called the grateful dead. ;-)so what was the most emailed story of the day?

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1085551283442613822004-05-26T01:43:00.000-04:002004-05-26T02:01:23.443-04:00

Is it me, or is that not a wicked good name for a greatest hits album? Dunno if it is a reflection of my ADD or simply my eclectic musical taste, but I make a lot of mixes and that sticks out as a great name for one. Been making mixes for so long, when I started out, they were called mix tapes.sigh.now my psychiatrist would tell you my above penchant for copyright infringement is a reflection of

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1085050382966559902004-05-20T06:32:00.000-04:002004-05-20T06:53:02.966-04:00

What is it about going to the doctor? Particularly if it is a specialist, people's if/then statements kick into overdrive and hushed tones using subtle code are used--"he is going to a psychologist to work through things."It actually humors me more than anything else. But it is not limited to folks "on the outside." Even in the lobbies of my then psychologist, my now psychiatrist and our now

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1084760648785479912004-05-16T22:05:00.000-04:002004-05-16T22:24:08.786-04:00

good weekend. productive anyways. visited a friend on friday to see he has made some good progress with a recent injury that will set him back a few months. saturday was a lot of errands and chores, but it was all done as a family and culminated with steaks on the grill and ultimately a smoke on the front porch. sunday brought church and some yardwork before sunday dinner, an italian feast. home

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1084328650845161392004-05-11T22:22:00.000-04:002004-05-11T22:24:10.846-04:00

blogger is not fucking around with their new design. and as demonstrated by this well overstated blog design, they also give us plenty of toys to play with. they waited just long enough for me to take my work blog over to typepad. and now i wanna come back. sigh.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1084111201674360862004-05-09T10:00:00.000-04:002004-05-11T22:18:16.303-04:00

celebrating mother's day and wife's birthday today. the presents were well-received as was the pancake breakfast. daughter and i gave her some quiet time by heading outside to the "big trampoline" and are now gearing up for a day of chores and mom-time.realized that while jumping on the trampoline with daughter that my arm feels as normal as the doctor's said it would post-surgery #2. this does

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1084021362572559842004-05-08T09:02:00.000-04:002004-05-11T22:25:23.570-04:00

blogger threatens there will be a new and improved blogger unveiled on sunday. should be fun to see. maybe they will even offer rss?

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1084021259593915392004-05-08T09:00:00.000-04:002004-05-08T09:04:14.793-04:00

per the post belowby the post below, i just think the media spin people's stories to make them more sensational than they are impressive. i do not doubt people come to america with a few bucks in their pockets and the clothes on their backs, but i would also assume they might know someone over here or have a plan for once they get here. it's not like they walk onto a bus one day and then decide

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1083667976934598532004-05-04T06:52:00.000-04:002004-05-11T22:31:37.000-04:00

was reading a local business paper and it referenced someone as coming to America with $75 to their name and now they are a millionaire. not to steal any thunder from this person's sticktuitiveness, hard work ethic and all, but puh-lease. with just the shirt on my back and the sweat on my brow...blah blah blah. when you hear stories like that these days, they simply sound contrived. does this

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1083641605440457102004-05-03T23:33:00.000-04:002004-05-11T22:29:00.163-04:00

turns out ALL of my content is still up via the handy archives to the left. this is helpful for me as i sift through and read pieces i like and other pieces that help me out in the head. i will say i am one moody bitch. so don't waste your time tripping through the archives (circa 2002). i'll pull together some kind of best of post with links to all of it. the ultimate self-back pat. but what

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1083640659073044762004-05-03T23:17:00.000-04:002004-05-11T22:21:45.976-04:00

today was a good day. i had focus. i can chalk this up to writing. when i am writing something i am into, everything else can fall away. i can miss lunch and not even know it. in a rare case of convergence, i wrote a story for a client that could have just as easily been posted to my work blog. walked right away from that conflict o' interest though. an ex-coworker just got canned from her new

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1083466797225085502004-05-01T22:59:00.000-04:002004-05-11T22:21:20.636-04:00

just read the book. someone gave it to me after my accident—over a year ago. it really helped me out. and now i wish i could snap my fingers so that two other people in my life also read it. wife is really letting our lack of pregnancy wear on her. we've been at it at least two years now and no dice. we have daughter, but want more. daughter took us about two months to start. so we were cocky

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1083466206588581132004-05-01T22:50:00.000-04:002004-05-11T22:20:49.586-04:00

came back here after a looong respite. at least a year. had to change the name. i am no longer all that lost. still fucked up. but sober and moving down a good, solid path. so i swiped the name of the in between blog i created when i left here.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1076766702021451712004-02-14T08:51:00.000-05:002004-02-14T08:57:04.076-05:00

if you are here, you are lost.happy valentine's day. but what's so very happy about it? gotta say i do love the colors of the holiday...it's the middle of february for fuck's sake. it ain't the shortest month by accident. this month just sucks and even a manufactured so-called holiday like valentine's is welcome if it brings change to this fact.hallmark plots aside, last night we were at a

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1075518374839099742004-01-30T22:06:00.000-05:002004-01-30T22:07:51.420-05:00

don't call it a comebackmethinks i need to archive everything at my current blog and just come on back here. fresh start at familiar site. i miss this blog haven...if only for the stray traffic from the freaks looking for the old land of the lost tv show.hollywood should really monitor search engines to see what people are looking for online. tap into whatever is top of mind with the next flick.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-1066533358594356072003-10-18T23:15:00.000-04:002003-10-18T23:15:58.493-04:00

miss me? i miss youwas puttering around here recently and reading some old posts--posts i took down 9 months ago. my new blog is nice enough, but the writing here was much better. this could be for a host of reasons. but i blame the switch from Land of the Lost to the new blog to be named later.i cleaned this site out when i thought someone at work found my blog. someone did, but this someone was

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-888256342003-02-09T21:16:00.000-05:002003-02-09T21:16:49.776-05:00

gone fishin'all is very much well. but i am leaving here. bye. e-mail me if you wanna know where i turn up next. i *will* be back. :-)

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-878399942003-01-22T08:59:00.000-05:002003-01-22T08:59:44.960-05:00

hiatus updatemajor lifechange leaves me wondering how to revisit the blog. i'm still sober. i'm also lucky to be alive. many details on the lifechange would make the double life i'm leading here difficult to continue. but by not writing about it, i'm creating an enormous gap. stay tuned.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-873316832003-01-12T21:44:00.000-05:002003-01-12T21:44:49.000-05:00

hiatusas you probably guessed, i'm not blogging as much this month. it's not a new year's resolution. i'm just trying to spend more time working on my life right now as opposed to documenting it.all is as well as can be expected. i am sober, healthy and trying to be happy. the obstacles keeping me from happiness are not insurmountable. to other people they are probably not obstacles.been tapping

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-869525242003-01-05T01:55:00.000-05:002003-01-05T02:00:39.000-05:00

ignatius reilly is my musethe person using this character's name is anyways. i've blown off blogging for the past couple of days. i blamed it on writer's block, but deep down, knew better.then i got an unrelated e-mail from a friend. for whatever reason, it just got me thinking and i realized—i am treading water as it relates to my recovery.the journey we are on is a tough path. deep down i know

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-867757302003-01-01T00:49:00.000-05:002003-01-01T00:50:19.000-05:00

happy and newa quick note to everyone wishing them a very happy new year. what a great moment in time. you can either reflect happily on the past year or gladly wave goodbye to it. and before you lies a clean slate full of possibility. you can either build on the past year or build in spite of it.i do not make new year's resolutions. but i am glad to be clean and sober.spent the evening with some

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-866837442002-12-29T23:38:00.000-05:002002-12-29T23:51:54.000-05:00

up late on a school nightthe holiday vacation continues and i am hitting my stride. won't be heading back into work until next year...next year sounds better than thursday.have spent most of the time off digging into some movies, spending tons of time with daughter and even being productive at home.built a fire tonight. less for the heat (its been pretty warm today), more to get rid of the old,

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-866138732002-12-28T00:08:00.000-05:002002-12-28T00:25:52.000-05:00

xmas eve's acting outi always chalked up the "feelings are not facts" line to times when i wanted to take a drink. those times when chaos would rear its ugly head and i would want to make a hasty retreat to booze.christmas eve presented two situations where the line applied, but these situations had little to do with wanting to drink.rearview mirror: we were enroute to the well-intended circus

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-865997932002-12-27T15:52:00.000-05:002002-12-28T00:09:13.000-05:00

santa's fists of ragesounds like a half-assed x-box game, eh? well, it's a teaser for a post forthcoming on how i acted on my emotions on christmas eve. i did not drink. i got angry though and basically ruined two parts of my wife's christmas eve - the beginning and ending.felt super sorry for myself when she told me all this late evening on the 24th. but then i sucked it up and realized i must

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-865771832002-12-27T01:04:00.000-05:002002-12-27T01:04:35.583-05:00

bone drythis is not a reference to my sobriety. this is an attempt at a catchy headline that also references my approach to my holiday vacation: sucking the marrow right out of this vacation and savoring every last drop.my version of carpe diem has changed dramatically over the past couple of years. it used to be really self-focused, not very productive and—of course—had the obligatory booze

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-864196432002-12-22T22:52:00.000-05:002002-12-22T23:03:14.000-05:00

shit stormjust sailed through a short week that was tall on work. got it all done though. this made me happy!there was more chaos than seemed necessary last week. my plate is full at work. between that and being a procrastinator, the end result is conflict. at least two times this week my conflicting deadlines put others at odds. the laws of physics mean i simply am NOT going to be able to

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-862046122002-12-18T00:21:00.000-05:002002-12-18T00:21:22.596-05:00

re-entry burnthought i was prepped for reentry at work today after being out sick yesterday. what did i know. even the weather was nasty today. luckily we've moved past "mistake." but i was clearly not 100 percent while work was on 110 percent today.working late tonight and possibly all week to deal with it all. then? the weekend, one more work day and vacation for the rest of the month/year. so

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-861149002002-12-16T11:12:00.000-05:002002-12-16T11:12:54.213-05:00

ralphthe party went well. unfortunately i was not feeling well for the bulk of it. turns out i have the flu. i'm home right now...taking a sick day. decided it would be best after seeing my dinner twice last night. not fun.interesting note from the party: watching my nieces and nephews play my freestanding video arcade game (Crystal Castles). they all wanted to know where the reset button was at.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-860380772002-12-15T14:08:00.000-05:002002-12-16T11:04:39.000-05:00

fa la la la laspent the weekend decking our halls in preparation for a family holiday party that is set to start any minute here. it is good to have a clean house packed with food and beverage and decorated for the holidays. so i have made it past my fuck christmas mood and am finally on the christmas spirit bandwagon vs. falling off the other wagon and having some spirits!my wife got us tickets

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-859248102002-12-12T21:55:00.000-05:002002-12-12T21:55:41.430-05:00

day 2came in this morning ready to hit it; second wind and all. then found out the document that was only sent to three media outlets was posted online - error and all - by one of them. spent the morning fixing that problem and making sure that was the only other place it would appear.from then on, i was off balance and could not get optimistic or confident. thankfully i was not paralyzed by it

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-858575202002-12-11T16:35:00.000-05:002002-12-11T16:39:22.000-05:00

mistakemy client informed me of an error in a document I distributed to the media and posted on their Web site. this error was actually pointed out to them by one of their customers. this customer was reading the release as it was about them. in fact, the typo was their name...misspelled.it gets worse.for good reasons i will not bore you with, i did not get their customer's approval before

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-857904922002-12-10T12:19:00.000-05:002002-12-10T12:19:11.856-05:00

blog fogholidays and a lot of work-related writing has impacted my blogging efforts. guess, this means i've been doing all of my bitching and moaning off line to compensate?the tree is up, the cards are going out and the lights are on the house as we approach our 2nd annual family holiday party. surely i will have more "means to an end" bah humbug bullshit to throw at you between now and then.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-857074462002-12-08T22:25:00.000-05:002002-12-08T22:25:51.486-05:00

xmas updateok, perhaps it is the means to the end that bugs me about Christmas. there is a lot of negative energy out there. and i am not talking bah humbug energy. i'm talking about seemingly mild-mannered people that turn into freaks for a parking spot, the spot ahead of you in line, the last (insert ad here) on the shelf...and for WHAT?!well, for the PERFECT Christmas probably. so as the rage

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-856396172002-12-07T09:59:00.000-05:002002-12-07T09:59:11.876-05:00

two words fuck christmas.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-855798352002-12-06T01:26:00.000-05:002002-12-06T01:26:49.990-05:00

woke up this morningsoprano's rules. i am addicted and i do not have hbo. i am an odd purveyor of the show in that i am too tight to get hbo. i've watched all seasons well after the fact on either dvd or video. but as a result i get to watch like three episodes in a row if i want. i usually do since they kick ass. the downside? i am just now able to get into season three and season four is well

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-854108852002-12-02T22:01:00.000-05:002002-12-02T22:01:15.950-05:00

same shit, different bloglets just say, some basic computer code i wrote on a coworkers board applies to me sometimes:10:inhale20:exhale30:goto 10mondays are a universal sinkhole of sorts. i won't bore you again with my details. you know they get to me starting on sunday.lets just say, i cannot stress enough the need to just take a deep breath every once in awhile. trust your instincts. they

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-853555192002-12-01T21:31:00.000-05:002002-12-01T21:37:11.000-05:00

comfort zonedecided that the minimum time for me to chill out with days off is 4. 4 days allows me to FEEL like i am not working. more importantly, i sometimes FORGET about all things work-related. sunday i will always get the Monday blues or at least feel the need to gird up for another week. this is the main reason why 3 days won't cut it.this was a great break. ran, ate and spent some very

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-852359612002-11-28T22:01:00.000-05:002002-11-28T22:06:19.000-05:00

great daybeat last year's race time by 1 minute and 15 seconds. more impressive is that i've run this race 8 years in a row, and just got my third fastest time. cool, but not hard considering some of my earlier race times.came home and cleaned up the house in preparation for Thanksgiving. it went quickly and before we knew it, the turkey was done and our family had arrived.daughter loves it when

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-852064802002-11-28T07:01:00.000-05:002002-11-28T07:06:32.000-05:00

happy, thankful, earlyHAPPY THANKSGIVING! One of my addicted blogger friends is asking what our top 5 list is for giving thanks this year. here's mine in no true order:*wife n daughter: they have shown me what love and life are all about.*me, my health and i: i consider it good therapy to give myself some equal time here. i am proud of my progress spiritually, mentally and physically. more

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-851435312002-11-26T22:49:00.000-05:002002-11-26T22:53:31.000-05:00

short weekmy place of work can really take the fun out of a short week. it's tough to explain, but basically everyone is very busy right now. it seems like the chiefs of our tribe begrudgingly acknowledge the holidays (along with families and personal lives). and they rarely change deadlines to accomodate the holidays. recently they told one team they had better do their christmas shopping early

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-849778172002-11-23T14:23:00.000-05:002002-11-23T14:50:46.000-05:00

chores, collision, chaos and calmfor what it's worth, i'm an alliterative whore. land of the lost had initial appeal due to it having a lotta lovely l's.chores: spent the morning running errands with daughter. wife is selling her memory boards at a craft show, so we crossed a few things off our to do list together. this took me past our old street and i drove down it. pretty uneventful until i

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-849595062002-11-23T01:13:00.000-05:002002-11-23T01:24:19.000-05:00

late nightsome nights i get like my daughter, not wanting to go to sleep to eek more time out of the day. it's a good sign as it means i am enjoying myself and do not want the day to end.been surfing a lot this evening. checked my work email a scant few minutes ago and one of my clients sent something at around midnight?! that client gets no love from me. spend time with yourself, your family,

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-849060922002-11-21T23:10:00.000-05:002002-11-21T23:10:48.000-05:00

friday's finish linelooking forward to the weekend. to quote "dry the rain" by the beta band:If there's something inside that you wanna saySay it out loud it'll be okayI will be your lightI will be your lightI will be your lightI will be your lightthis weekend, be yourself. be someone's light. just be.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-848483912002-11-20T21:54:00.000-05:002002-11-20T22:03:54.000-05:00

movies and much moretwo movie-ish sites for you. the first one's an obvious choice, profiling their favorite drunks on film. i give them props for Peter O'Toole in "My Favorite Year." enjoyed that film quite a bit. but they missed steve buscemi in Tree's Lounge. the lyrics for the movie's theme song are at the end of this post—you'll understand why i like it so much.second movie site is less

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-848432332002-11-20T19:55:00.000-05:002002-11-20T19:55:20.730-05:00

good dayi was worried if i reported a good day to you, i would have to rename this site "land of the yo-yo emotional lost." but then it hit me. one day at a time. the simplicity of this saying is only marveled by the strength it gives me.so after finding that bit of magic at the bottom of my bag of tricks, i realized it would be better to report i am feeling better...even made some progress on my

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-847920832002-11-19T21:17:00.000-05:002002-11-19T21:29:21.000-05:00

insane in the membranefeel like shit. feel too much. tripping over easy things. feeling scared. trying not to let it stop me from working through things at work. work is my problem right now. not handling it well. it's a problem that can be addressed, it can be navigated. so why is it freaking me out?under the guise of not drinking is not enough, i opened up the blue book last night and read

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-846887052002-11-17T22:29:00.000-05:002002-11-17T22:29:23.006-05:00

sunday, daughter daywent into work for about four hours today to move ahead on a story i am writing. should have finished it, but that's what i'll do tonight and *gulp* probably tomorrow.daughter has been throwing us some curve balls lately. we're spoiled as she has been real easy as far as crying and throwing fits. but lately she is fighting sleep at naps and bedtime. today she also freaked out

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-846316842002-11-16T15:14:00.000-05:002002-11-16T15:16:49.000-05:00

dead leaves and the dirty groundweather is in the 40 degree range today and, thankfully, no rain. the leaves were easier to rake than i thought. but since they were wet, the bags were a heckuva lot heavier. no martha stewart fall visuals to give you since the sun was not out, it was cold and wet.we had some work done on our foundation before we moved in. as a result there is a lot of mud heaped

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-846081982002-11-15T23:39:00.000-05:002002-11-15T23:40:50.000-05:00

opa!good to finally see my big fat greek wedding. even better to have date night. we're going to make sure we do it at least once a month. otherwise you get into a routine and, all of a sudden, you turn over in bed one morning and wonder who's sleeping next to you.finally hooked up the train to put it through a dry run. it is circling endlessly as i type this. it is pretty cool and i think

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-845783862002-11-15T10:01:00.000-05:002002-11-15T10:06:02.000-05:00

fridayall there is in my head about my favorite subject. ME.work: I am procrastinating on a nagging project I simply need to finish. But it is Friday, no one is here, weather sucketh muchly and my afternoon is already tanked by a big meeting. Sitting here in suit and tie, I feel less than mature. Will wind up having to come back in on Sunday to trudge through the project no matter what

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-845548282002-11-14T21:08:00.000-05:002002-11-14T21:13:01.000-05:00

the other stuffok. the thing to the left says I should also tell you about architecture and the like. well, after i bitched about the beer site brought via email, I got this one.Jefferson blows me away. I really love the symmetry of Monticello. Check the place out. He was always thinking, always moving. Genius.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-845013312002-11-13T20:46:00.000-05:002002-11-13T20:46:53.533-05:00

my life is beerThis Web site was in my mailbox tonight. It was featured in one of those daily "cool" Web site e-mails you can get.It pisses me off.Not why you're thinking though. I was going to post it up here—despite the fact that it might be a trigger mechanism for someone else. Then I checked out the site and realized there's not one goddamn non-alcoholic beer on the site.Fine. N/A beer makes

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-844483572002-11-12T21:08:00.000-05:002002-11-12T21:19:00.000-05:00

good, but weirdfeeling good, but weird. feel like i am still in transit: job's been changing a lot, home's changed completely, emotions change with the wind, friend's lives are in flux.i remind myself that change is good. and, long term, it is a good thing. in the meantime, i am acknowledging this so i deal more with the feelings of unease it causes me.bottom line? i'm a pussy.example: i've been

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-843723132002-11-11T13:15:00.000-05:002002-11-11T13:15:41.523-05:00

if the last post did not tell youpendulum swang back into the good emotions. i got through some of the immediate work on my plate and, as we all know, progress feels good.need to put my head back down now and push ahead...trudge...trudge...trudge...

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-843482962002-11-11T00:43:00.000-05:002002-11-11T00:45:37.000-05:00

brief departurelost one to affleck. i bow to your ability to access that "sweet jungle rump*." Your acting still sucks, but DAMN jLo's junk in the trunk is the "end all."* per will ferrell on saturday night live.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-842858032002-11-09T14:26:00.000-05:002002-11-09T14:26:44.210-05:00

addiction as avoidanceits been said that addiction is avoidance. for me it was avoiding feeling any emotions - bad ones at first, but then pretty much any of them. to my fellow addicts out there, what were YOU avoiding?

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-842589422002-11-08T21:08:00.000-05:002002-11-08T21:21:37.000-05:00

man at werkhave had daughter all to myself the past two nights and i get her all day saturday. looking forward to it and praying for good weather so we can explore. she now grabs my finger and pulls me across the room to whatever it is she wants to show me. seeing her learn, grow, progress is amazing. *sigh*from her pull to work's push...it finally hit me. i am busy, but i can do it. the catch is

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-841544952002-11-06T23:33:00.000-05:002002-11-06T23:39:20.000-05:00

head gameshad a great session tonight with my psychologist. still am not accepting the fact that I have to feel all of my emotions-suck it up and ride them out. i'm used to acting on them-by drinking typically. now i merely need to feel them. do not like doing it as i am not used to it.instead, i've been analyzing it all way too much. why i feel a certain way, causes and effects. my head hurts.at

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-841282162002-11-06T13:43:00.000-05:002002-11-06T13:43:49.113-05:00

"it's getting better all the time"just in time for shrink wrap, i have a second wind and am making progress at work. phew. need to figure out how i hash it out tonight. 45 minutes goes by fast.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-840979362002-11-05T23:12:00.000-05:002002-11-05T23:12:09.400-05:00

how i feelmood: shitty. esteem: low. self-pity: high.no good can come of this. deleted a rant trying to describe everything i felt today. it's been awhile since the pendulum swung back towards the bad. but here it is. no liver pangs to make it worse thankfully. the only bright side. i've no fucking clue why i am currently feeling this way.i do not want to analyze it or not act on it or drink it

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-840572902002-11-05T08:15:00.000-05:002002-11-05T09:05:40.000-05:00

viewer mailThis from 2nd Career Man:"Interesting comment on having a plan versus "smelling the roses". Only part you left unexamined is why you can't do both? Why can't a plan for your life, your career, your day, have programmed in some "world appreciation"? Furthermore, doing so (smelling the roses) is not a reason or excuse for not wanting to "move up/ahead", but then again, you don't NEED an

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-840236122002-11-04T16:51:00.000-05:002002-11-04T16:53:03.000-05:00

ward cleaver?a close friend, one of maybe two people who know me in real world that also know of and visit this site, was giving me shit about my last couple of posts. I acknowledged that I felt like my content may be dipping into the world of Ward Cleaver.so whilst the content might be getting a wee bit boring, I have to believe that the winter weather and holidays will bring the usual

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-840158412002-11-04T14:03:00.000-05:002002-11-04T14:03:06.043-05:00

home warrantyinsurance is that thing you're glad you pay money for IF you actually use it. color me glad. our first house came with a home warranty. our new house also came with one. plumber finally came calling after a week or two of turning the toilets off at the wall after use. a couple of the toilets were leaking, we had some dripping faucets and a questionable disposal. we had this happen at

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-839786012002-11-03T19:48:00.000-05:002002-11-03T19:49:50.000-05:00

less than impulse buysince daughter was born, i have wanted to set up an electric train around the christmas tree. i had a train as a kid, but never put one around the tree. decided it would be a cool annual thing to do. HAD to go with a Lionel O-Guage train. Picked this one:Merry Friggin' Christmas! :-)

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-839068812002-11-01T23:51:00.000-05:002002-11-01T23:52:06.000-05:00

phone homesalvaged my mood upon returning home. dinner out was great and, after daughter went to bed, we watched E.T. on dvd. More than 20 years later and the movie still rocks.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-838863962002-11-01T14:21:00.000-05:002002-11-01T14:31:29.000-05:00

craving's illusionis it me or is there always something behind a liver pang? driving back from lunch, I got another liver pang. decided I just HAD to get loaded.it subsided by turning on the music and not thinking too much. it went away and I realized it probably came about due to my conversation over lunch.when I lunch with friends in the business, the question ALWAYS comes up: "what's your plan

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-838322222002-10-31T12:18:00.000-05:002002-10-31T12:30:57.000-05:00

boo, baby. boo.happy halloween. wife and daughter came out to work for lunch—primarily to show off daughter's costume. at 18 months, halloween is more of a photo opp for her than anything else.they just dropped me off and, while their visit made my day, I am bummed out right now. seeing them during the day, here at the office, reminds me how much I miss them at work. it is cheesier than a General

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-837733172002-10-30T10:31:00.000-05:002002-10-30T10:31:13.973-05:00

random running thoughtsscratched down a few things to post up here as it relates to me and my addiction. one of the last acts of prepping the old house for its new owners involved me finding the bowl I stashed in the rafters of my basement for "emergencies". I do not know what would have constituted an emergency prior to getting off the sauce, but I never came across an emergency after climbing

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-836980112002-10-28T22:43:00.000-05:002002-10-28T23:40:25.000-05:00

bottomWhen I was drinking, I rationalized my behavior and actions by telling myself, "I'll quit once I hit bottom." That's how in denial I was. I was admitting I had a problem, but still enabling myself to drink by saying the above.I'm here with this post to tell my story. I do not follow AA formally. I've never been able to share offline at a meeting. Before I tell it, let me note that bottom is

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-836956572002-10-28T21:52:00.000-05:002002-10-28T21:52:23.113-05:00

project greener grassI took to calling our house hunt "project greener grass" at first as a bit of a joke...the grass is ALWAYS greener, right? I was happy in our old house. I even noted said comfort and happiness to myself back in late April/early May. I clearly remember doing so as I pulled into the driveway, returning home from work.thank my higher power that wife has vision.no, she did not

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-835247912002-10-25T17:07:00.000-04:002002-10-25T17:10:24.000-04:00

Magic 8 Ball Secrets RevealedAbout four years ago, I took a hammer and busted my Magic 8 Ball open to find out how it worked.Well, let me tell ya, the ball is plastic-duh. Inside is another plastic cylinder...the answer window is actually one end of it...it's on the bottom of the ball.Oh heck, click here to see what I mean. Someone even more anal retentive than myself dissected one of these

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-834408742002-10-23T23:24:00.000-04:002002-10-23T23:29:51.000-04:00

home stretchtough to focus this week at work. bad time to be moving...as if there were ever a good time. i'm busy and i get a new boss on monday. i'll also be out on vacation monday to finish moving and celebrate my year of sobriety (knock wood. we're not there yet. one day at a time.).complicating things further for me is we do not get cable access till monday. this means no web surfing from

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-833309232002-10-21T22:52:00.000-04:002002-10-21T22:52:39.000-04:00

is it just me, or...does this product and its instructions make you wonder what in the hell they're *really* using it for?

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-832754012002-10-20T22:15:00.000-04:002002-10-20T22:24:20.000-04:00

closing time"Closing time, time for you to go back to the places you will be fromClosing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end"Sweet crap, did I just quote Semisonic? Fuck sakes, how do I know who Semisonic is in the first place? But I digressMonday we close on our current home. The week will be filled with trips back and forth between houses...moving small crap.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-832090882002-10-19T06:30:00.000-04:002002-10-19T06:30:32.040-04:00

hee heeone more reason i like the onion. shirts like this one:

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-832085982002-10-19T05:50:00.000-04:002002-10-19T06:28:01.000-04:00

addiction's chaos theorywhat is it about addicts and chaos? perhaps it's a thread woven into our DNA.Theophany has noted that you just assume doing all the right things will eliminate chaos from your life...not drinking, following ALL the rules, being a good person. WRONG! Chaos still kicks your can. Maybe it is a bizzare gravitational force like the tides reacting to the pull of the moon?

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-829892972002-10-14T20:48:00.000-04:002002-10-14T20:50:01.000-04:00

road triptomorrow I'm leaving town for an overnight business trip. this one is easy compared to my last trip. it's shorter and all i have to do is learn on behalf of my client. it's a fact-finding mission of sorts.sure, there will be the usual game faces needed, but it should go well.so why am i fucking anxious? a year into this gig and I see things more clearly. but part of me wants to eliminate

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-829433362002-10-13T22:05:00.000-04:002002-10-13T22:09:49.000-04:00

same shit, different blogrealized as I drank some near beer this weekend that if you drop the s on a can of sharps, you can say you're drinking harps.it's like trying to pass off a rice cake for steak.missed booze this weekend when it actually occurred to me that, as an alcoholic, i never get to drink again. done. no matter how special the occasion. no matter how big the accomplishment.fine. i

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-829012142002-10-12T20:09:00.000-04:002002-10-12T20:09:46.656-04:00

we interrupt this programthe sad state of public service announcements can be seen at alex kid's blog. when you think your life sucks, consider the state of mind you would have to be in to throw your newborn baby into a dumpster. this world is fucked up deluxe.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-828510752002-10-11T13:59:00.000-04:002002-10-11T19:46:06.000-04:00

The King of BuffetsOK, I admit it. I am not above going to buffets for lunch or breakfast...depending on the situation.Bottom line is you get what you pay for. Most food cooked in bulk tastes as cheap as it looks. But breakfast bars and Chinese food buffets seemingly hold up pretty well.My motto when I approach a buffet? Elvis was a pussy. And by this I am referring specifically to his gluttony.

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3501875.post-827670982002-10-09T20:58:00.000-04:002002-10-09T21:08:16.000-04:00

reliefThree weeks left and counting in what might be my busiest month of the year. Luckily we've sailed successfully through the biggest week. The work event I was running had awesome turn out. I also managed to write a nine-page strategic plan for another client that was approved in its entirety. So after being completely in the zone for the past two to three weeks, it feels good knowing I

Kevin Dugannoreply@blogger.com0